ｷ Web Schmeb: A Kinder, Gentler Nastygram ｷ

ｷｷｷｷｷｷ Web Schmeb: A Kinder, Gentler Nastygram ｷｷｷｷ

ｷｷ Web Schmeb ｷ

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ｷ A Kinder, Gentler Nastygram
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ｷｷ By Stevi Deter ｷｷ
Much has been said about the level of viciousness on the net. ｷ We flame each other ruthlessly on Usenet. We send nastygrams to ｷ perpetrators of spam. The immediate and accepted response to ｷ anything we determine to be idiocy is supposed to be an angry ｷ missive. If you manage to work in some wit, you’re ready for ｷ talk.bizarre.
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How often do we stop to think about how appropriate this ｷ approach is? If we apply the golden ｷ rule, are we all saying that we want to receive this kind of ｷ treatment in return? Without straying too far into the ｷ psychological, are we all detached enough from our net personas ｷ that we are not only able to dish it out, but also take it?
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Recently I’ve had the chance to see that I, for one, ｷ don’t like to reap what I sow. I was webmaster for a week at ｷ my company. That included the job of reading all the email to the ｷ webmaster, answering what I could and forwarding the mail that ｷ should have been sent to the support or sales departments.
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I was taken aback by how many of those who wrote the webmaster ｷ were just plain uncivil. Profanity, snide comments, threats - ｷ they were all there.
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Now, I recognize that the time we’re most likely to write ｷ the webmaster is when something has bothered us. We couldn’t ｷ find the information we were looking for. A link was broken. The ｷ search engine wasn’t working. I am as guilty of anyone of ｷ phrasing my anger in strident tones. I couldn’t tell you how ｷ many times I’ve told webmasters that their site had lost my ｷ business for their company and they were obviously overpaid.
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In all that time, only one has written me back in an equally ｷ nasty tone. My response was to consider learning who his manager ｷ was, and forwarding the message, complaining that I’d been ｷ treated horribly by this representative of their company.
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Then I realized how unfair I was being. Why do I have the ｷ right to be rude, but my correspondent does not? This seems to be ｷ widespread in our culture. I’ve had several training session ｷ in customer service. They’ve all spent a significant time ｷ focusing on how to deal with the rude customer. Rude customers ｷ are expected, and our job is to figure out how to defuse the ｷ situation. We’re taught how to listen to the customer, and ｷ try to appease the customer. This is all in the name of retaining ｷ the customer.
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The thing is, it works. I’ve found I get much better ｷ customer service if I start the call, letter, or discussion ｷ angry. You’ve wronged me! You’ve produced a horrible ｷ product! You must calm me and appease me, no matter how ｷ ridiculous my claims are!
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In my experience, this approach works much better than just ｷ calling up, acting like a rational adult, and calmly explaining ｷ my problem. The only exception is when I get the extremely ｷ hassled customer service representative who is just so grateful ｷ that I’m not yelling at him that he’ll bend over ｷ backwards to keep me on the phone. Otherwise, the next call could ｷ be another yeller.
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We seem to have taken this attitude to an extreme on the net. ｷ I see language that almost no one uses during a telephone call. ｷ I’ve seen absurd requests. "Your stupid ass file on the ｷ ftp site broken. Recompile it and send me the fixed file when ｷ it’s ready. You are all such idiots. I hope you go ｷ bankrupt." I have to find a polite way to explain that the ｷ file is indeed perfectly usable, it’s just that the user ｷ needs to upgrade his version of Adobe ｷ Acrobat Reader, which is, after all, free and available ｷ everywhere.
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Now this example shows the frustration that arises when the ｷ user attacks full out over an issue that he could have corrected ｷ himself. The problem is, these attacks create such a feeling of ｷ frustration that when the webmaster discovers issues that were ｷ legitimately the site’s fault, she could care less. Just ｷ quite yelling at me, for heaven’s sake. I’m just the ｷ backup webmaster! Mistakes happen! We have several thousand pages ｷ that are updated by scores of people, and links will break, the ｷ ftp server will be unavailable, and the site may not be organized ｷ in the way that best suits you. Deal!
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Which, of course, is not the best customer service attitude.
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What I would suggest is a return to civility. If you find a ｷ problem with a site, by all means, report it. Most people have no ｷ idea how much work it takes to maintain a huge website, and all ｷ the assistance you can give the webmaster is truly appreciated.
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When you report the error, however, report it in the same way ｷ you would if you were talking to someone you want to do something ｷ for you. You don’t have to kowtow, but you could use a ｷ polite tone. Write a business letter, not a flame. The webmaster ｷ didn’t intend to ruin your day. The webmaster probably had ｷ to throw up a correction to the page, answer some steaming hot ｷ complaint letters, fix whatever issues they brought up, and then ｷ attend a four hour planning meeting. The webmaster is a human ｷ being who is probably overworked and doing a job that could keep ｷ at least two more people occupied full time.
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The net seems to be the incarnation of Hobbes' view ｷ of the world: life is nasty, brutish, and the hub will crash ｷ right when you need to find something. Perhaps we should inject a ｷ little idealism into our interactions. Let’s move towards a ｷ little more Rousseau. ｷ Let’s establish a social contract, which includes the idea ｷ that if you ask nicely, you shall receive, and if you flame, ｷ don’t complain when there’s carbon on your dinner.
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Be excellent to one another. I’ll thank you for it the ｷ next time I have to be webmaster.
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